2.20. Mother’s mortifying moment!

Hari Om.

Let us begin the twentieth sarga of the ayOdhyakAnDam by offering our prostrations at the lotus feet of SrIrAma and our sathguru.

Having heard the unconveyed direction of daSaratha through kaikEyi, rAma understands both the helplessness of his father and his intent in one shot, and at once declares his decision to leave for the forests. The previous sarga [2.19. Dignity, thy name is rAma!] wonderfully brings about the firm attachment of rAma to dharma and utter detachment to anything material. He didn’t think twice before conveying his intent and was guided entirely by eternal principles of keeping the given word in deciding his course. The king was aware of the nature of rAma to accept his untold decision and experienced body-blow and fell unconscious! Waiting outside the inner chambers, brother lakshmaNa grasped the happenings inside and understood that the crowning of rAma has been thwarted. He was seething with anger. rAma stepped out, a very picture of dignity, his body language as confident as before, his countenance was cheerful as ever – he had absorbed the catastrophe. Brother lakshmaNa couldn’t give vent to his feelings, he just followed rAma without saying a word, as rAma mingled with the well wishers and friends exchanging pleasantries with them. They had no idea what had happened just then. Onwards…

As rAma stepped out of the inner chambers having conveyed his decision to go to the forests, the word spread around like wildfire. There was a huge uproar and loud cries were heard. The ladies wailed – “Alas! That rAma who never had the responsibility of being our refuge – but always was our refuge – is now going on exile. His treated us like his own mother kausalya, ever since his birth. He never caused anger to anyone and never lost cool, even if someone was angry with him and cursed him. The king has indeed lost his intellect to order banishment of his son who is the refuge of all beings on this earth.” Thus they wailed piteously like cows when bereft of their calf, cursing their lord. The tormented king, who was already in grief, sank further on his chair in depression.

rAma, although deeply troubled and sighing like an elephant, was highly self-controlled [vaSi, वशी – that’s the word mahaRshi uses to describe him] entered his mother’s chambers along with brother lakshmaNa. The elderly gatekeepers and others at the entrance immediately sprang into attention and hailed him. Crossing the first courtyard, rAma saw the aged and acclaimed brAhmins, well versed in vEdas and scriptures, in the second chamber. Paying their respects he proceeded further to the third chamber where older men, women, and children were keeping guard. They hailed him wishing prosperity and at once informed mother kausalya in the inner chambers about the advent of rAma.

rAma entered inside where the pious mother kausalya, observer of many vows, clad in silks, was instructing the priests to offer oblations to the fire-god. She had fasted the previous night, contemplating on lord vishNu, for the welfare of her son rAma. Presently as rAma entered her chambers she was offering oblations to the fire-god. He saw there – curds, sacred rice, ghee, sweets, oblations, puffed rice, sesame seeds, firewood to be used in hOmam, garlands of flowers, porridge, pot filled with water (pUrna kumbham) signifying auspiciousness – all the paraphernalia gathered for the sacrifice. Mother kausalya’s body had emaciated on account of the vows she was engaged in. She looked celestial in her silks and the piety radiating from her.

Sighting rAma she was delighted and, with affection, came to him at once, just as a mare would run towards the offspring. rAma bowed to her and touched her feet. She lifted him, held by the arms and scented the top of his forehead [it’s the way youngsters are blessed]. She blessed him – “O rAma, may you attain the fame attained by the elderly rAjarshis of this hallowed dynasty, who were sticklers of righteous conduct ever. It is indeed fitting that your righteous father will crown you the heir apparent today.” With those benedictions, she offered rAma a seat and something to partake. Slightly embarrassed rAma, just touched the seat, and with folded hands, humble by nature began to tell her about his immediate departure to the danDaka forests – “Mother, surely you are unaware of the happening which is bound to cause imminent grief to you, sItA and lakshmaNa. I have set out for the danDaka forests, so I have nothing to do with this exalted seat you offer. In fact, this is the time for a mat made of kuSa grass to squat on. Abstaining from luxuries and meat like sages, I am to subsist on the fruits and roots available in the forest and live there for fourteen years. And along with my banishment to the forests, the king has ordered to appoint prince bharata as the heir apparent.”

Struck by this shocking news, kausalya at once fell on the ground unconscious – like a goddess fallen from grace, like a branch severed from the tree. She had done nothing to deserve this devastation. rAma at once reached on to her and raised her up from the ground. He wiped her tears and the dust on her body. She deserved nothing but happiness, and yet, was miserable on account of her dear son’s banishment.

File:Rama went to his mother Kausalya to get permission to go to the forest.jpg — kausalya grieving. Pic from here.

Her grief poured out even as lakshmaNa was listening – “O rAma, even if I were childless that grief would have been much less compared to what you said just now. A childless woman’s greatest sorrow is not having children – nothing can surpass that. I have never been associated with auspicious events even when my husband was ruling. I had lived in the hope to be part of such events when my son ruled. I will be the target of the gossip and heart-wrenching comments of my co-wives now. What can be more painful than what I am going through. I do not get my due place even when you are nearby, and what to say when you are banished! King daSaratha always preferred kaikEyi and neglected me, making me feel equal to her maids or even inferior! Even those who serve me now will not even look at me, once bharata assumes authority. How am I to put up with the cruel kaikEyi of hot temper and harsh words? I had waited for the last seventeen years hoping that this sorrow would come to an end. But no! How am I to put up with the taunts and temperaments of co-wives in this old age! How am I to live without beholding your moon like lovely face, O rAma? Alas, all my vows, fasts and sacrifices to bring you up have gone in vain, just like seeds sown on a barren land. O, my heart! How can it withstand this sorrow and not break? It must be like the banks of the river, which don’t come apart even in the face of terrible rain and flood. Or it should be made of iron, which doesn’t break or burst. Alas, if only I could take my life I would have gone to yama’s abode. O rAma, I will now follow you like a cow follows it’s calf. What is the use of this life now without beholding your lovely countenance rAma? I will follow you to the forest.”

Thus kausalya wrought by anger, sorrow, depression helplessly watched her son as if he has been taken captive.

Here we conclude the twentieth sarga of the ayOdhya kAnDam of SrImath vAlmiKi rAmAyaNam and humbly offer it at the lotus feet of SrIrAma. Hari: Om!

jAi SrIrAma.